AJ's Random Blog

Top Model Cycle 11 Predictions and Observations

2008-08-13T20:43:00Z

September 3rd! So close!!! Now forgive me while I speculate over the girls. I've studied them carefully and I think that I can assess each of them. Which obviously means, everything will be completely opposite of what I think.

Name: Analeigh
Age: 19
Hometown: Sacramento, CA (currently Los Angeles, California)
Occupation: Student
My prediction: She looks an awful lot like like Michelle Trachtenburg. She has great hair and legs though...I figure she'll probably end up in the top 5 at least. She's got that fierce dark look.

Name: Brittany
Age: 19
Hometown: Henderson, Nevada
Occupation: Customer Service
My Prediction: That's a terrible jumper or onesie or whatever. I'm pro-onesie, too, so that's saying something. And her face looks very...expressionless. But she does have kind of that exotic look that Anchal from season 7 had. And some crazy facial structure so if she can beef up the expression I bet she'll take great pictures.

Name: Clark
Age: 19
Hometown: Pawleys Island, South Carolina (currently Columbia, South Carolina)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: What kind of name is Clark? I'll tell you - it's the name of some tall leggy southern blonde. That's soooo predicitable for a model. I don't know, she's got some crazy thunder thighs and could really use a boob job. That being said, I'm obviously kidding (since a lot of people can't tell sometimes) and I think she's gorgeous. Those cheek bones should be illegal. She needs some highlights, though. Fix her up, Jay.

Name: Elina
Age: 19
Hometown: Berdichieve, Ukraine (currently Seattle, Washington)
Occupation: Currently unemployed
My Prediction: Currently unemployed! At least she knows what it's like, because I'm guessing that's pretty much what being a model is like. Unless you're foreign like this chick and then you've got it MADE. Remember Anya last year? They love foreign exotic beauties! I don't know if she's got an accent but the more understandability goes down, the more model potential goes up. This girl is ridiculously gorgeous. And that tattoo is hot. I refuse to look in a mirror for the rest of the day as I'll be disappointed that that's not staring back at me.

Name: Hannah
Age: 19
Hometown: Fairbanks, Alaska
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: She looks a lot like Heather from season 9, except I bet she doesn't have Aspergers so she automatically has to be 17 times more charismatic if she wants to win. Good luck with that.

Name: Isis
Age: 22
Hometown: Prince George's County, Maryland (currently New York, New York)
Occupation: Program Assistant at a non-profit organization.
My Prediction: This is the transgender I was telling you about earlier. I'm hoping that means ambigious genetalia, because I'm getting a little tranny from the face (I think it's the eyebrows) but there ain't NO WAY those legs belong to a man! That isn't fair, Maury! That's a woman!

Name: Joslyn
Age: 23
Hometown: Lucky, Louisiana (currently Shreveport, Louisiana)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: Lucky, LA? I LOVE IT! She has to win with a hometown like that! She's really pretty too, her skin has a ridiculous sheen across it that makes me feel like I need to moisturize. I think perhaps she has a future as a Victoria's Secret Angel.

Name: Lauren Brie
Age: 20
Hometown: Charlottesville, Virginia (currently Radford, Virginia)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: Lauren is the only girl that has a last name (or at least, knows how to spell it) so she's probably going to be the smart girl. Unless that's her middle name in which case...somebody's mommy was eating too much stinky cheese while she was in labor. No wait, I just looked at her picture. She looks like Scarlett Johannson so she automatically goes down 3 points because I don't like Scarlett Johannson. She looks kind of short....can I get a ruler over here?

Name: Marjorie
Age: 19
Hometown: Marseilles, France (currently San Francisco, California)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: While I can't stand that name, she's from France so I forgive her parents. And secondly...I LOVE HER LOOK. I can tell just by seeing this girl I'm going to enjoy seeing her on the show. I love a girl that can sport the short punky hair look and her outfit is quelle francais.

Name: McKey
Age: 19
Hometown: Lake Forest, Illinois
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: McKey looks kind of cool and rough too, although her name suggests a future as a tween clothing designer for JC Penney. She needs to lay off that weird green eyeshadow though, her eyes look bruised or diseased.

Name: Nikeysha
Age: 19
Hometown: Bronx, New York
Occupation: Student
My Predictions: Um...are we sure this isn't the tranny? I'm kidding, that girl is from the Bronx. She could beat my butt so I'll just say, yeah, top three.

Name: Samantha
Age: 18
Hometown: Woodland Hills, California
Occupation: Student Athlete
My Predictions: Oh Samantha. I hope you prove me wrong, but....enjoy your future as a Playboy Cyber Girl.

Name: ShaRaun
Age: 18
Hometown: Chicago, Illinois
Occupation: Student
My Predictions: ShaRaun, girl, love the hair. I would absolutely sport a fro if I weren't so terribly white. You do have some fierce posing abilities. You definitely make my top five. Tyra is gonna love you.

Name: Sheena
Age: 21
Hometown: Honolulu, Hawaii (currently Harlem, New York)
Occupation: Hostess/Go-Go Dancer
My Predictions: I'm sorry, shouldn't you be overbearing and controlling someone's surgeries on Grey's Anatomy right now? That being said...I love that your career is Hostess/Go-Go Dancer. It proves that you're very versatile. And from Honolulu to Harlem? Yeah, that's not a culture shock at all.

And finally...this girl....wait, that's not a girl, that's freaking Tyra. With the fugliest faux-hawk-mullet I've ever seen.

No pants is a new style now

2008-08-11T18:04:00Z

I was looking at the Victoria's Secret site earlier. I think it was actually the site dedicated almost totally to Pink. Anyway, something caught my eye.

She's not wearing pants! Since when is that a cute fall outfit?

Love those socks, though.

It's moving day!

2008-08-05T21:20:00Z

Well, moving day has been pretty hectic. I think normally when someone moves offices, they clean it out, move in your new desks, even vacuum and paint it. Sadly, our company hates us and we had to clean out our own offices and move our own furniture in. That's why it's not done yet. If you watched today's Randamity, you've already seen the dumpster that was in mine. Lovely! I finally got most everything cleaned out, except a shelf full of tapes that they say they're going to come in and take down (yeah, in a year or something). We moved in my new desk which takes up approximately 50% of my floor space, rock on. Everyone who was helping us (kind of) decided they got tired and only half of my desk is moved in. Right now I'm back in the newsroom because IT can't move my computer until tomorrow. Looks like someone really thought out moving day!

Anyway, I got a chance to sit down and take a look at today's news and here's the highlights.

Mary-Kate Olsen REFUSES to talk to the feds unless she is granted "immunity". Um, way to put a target on your back there, MK. You don't think they're doubly interested in talking to you now? Besides, real governments can't just grant you immunity. What do you think you're in, an XBox game?

This just in: Oprah poops money. Or wait, Oprah makes money when she poops. I have no idea but the woman is worth 385 Million bucks from TV ALONE! She's got her hands in a lot of other pots...so that's even more money. Girlfriend needs to put that cash to good use, like inventing a hamburger with no calories or something. Also on the list of people who make too much? Simon Cowell at 50 million bucks per year. Dude, I hope he spends some of that on his girlfriend since it's obviously not going into his wardrobe. Especially since if I were her, I'd never want to wear those sweat-stained tiny tees to bed when I stayed over.

Ed Westwick...also known as Chuck from Gossip Girl. I am in love with this man. He is my future. And now Oh No They Didn't has a bucket load of pictures hacked from his myspace. and he's adorable as ever! If not moreso! I feel like we should be friends. Ed, send me an email, I promise I'm not psycho and I'm a very affectionate and loving girlfriend. Plus I cook good. Link to Pictures Here.

Speaking of GG, did you know Kelly Rutherford (Serena's mom) named her kid Hermes? Yeah...just because she likes the bags. I wonder if his sister Birkin is on the way...

Is Tyra Banks insane? Check out this hot mess poster for the upcoming season of America's Next Top Model. I know, I know, I did the headband thing today. But seriously, I think maybe this poster is a little overboard. Too much hippie and and love and WAY too much of Ms Jay's fro, that is for sure. I can't even see any models in the picture because she's overwhelming me with the amount of photoshop radiating from her pores.

Ladies! World's BEST catch...

2008-07-21T16:13:00Z

I know, I know. Dating is hard. I'm gonna help you out, ladies. Here's a link to the world's most eligible bachelor. You know he's a catch when he assumes the reason you didn't call him back is because your mother has cancer. It's fantastic.

World's Best Voicemail

I bet we can find Dmitri on this website....call me!

Wanna be on top...OF MY HEAD?!

2008-07-15T19:20:00Z

Thank God for Tyra Banks. Without her, where would so many aspiring bulimic tall girls be? Probably still working at K-Mart or stripping for money. Saint Tyra has opened up modeling opportunities for all of these girls...like Eva. Remember Eva? She WON the freaking show on Season 3, and now she's...modeling wigs. I kid you not. The girl's hair always was a little whack, so I guess she was a natural choice. I wonder how much money you can get for a wig gig.

Not exactly Vogue, are we Eva? If you too want this amazing modeling opportunity (I'm sure it's better now, I totally saw Saleisha on a grocery store display) we're holding auditions on July 22nd. I promise you'll be more successful than poor ole Eva here.

My Summer Mix for 2008

2008-07-11T20:40:00Z

I like to make mix CDs. I feel like I've always been pretty decent at it, but I do allow my own personal tastes to creep into the mixes. Maybe it's that funky touch that makes it perfect. So every summer for years now, I've been making a summer mix CD and giving it to all of my friends. Usually it's songs that we can't get out of our heads, what's popular at the moment, and songs that are associated with a certain memory or event. And then I throw in a few new songs here and there to give us something new to make memories to.

This year is no different, it's a fusion of music from upbeat to chill. Some songs have specific memories attached and others just made me feel awesome, windows rolled down driving down 630 at 10 PM at night. So I'm sharing the mix with you, just incase any of you wanted a different summer mix. I got the music from various tv shows and commercials I've seen, from recommendations like the Rolling Stone, and some just randomly stumbling upon them and falling in instant love. I hope you enjoy - and send me your mixes! I always love discovering new music!

1 That Heat Sergio Mendes Feat. Eryka Badu and Will.I.Am
2. F--- Me Pumps Amy Winehouse
3. Everyday People Arrested Development
4. Shut Up and Let Me Go The Ting Tings
5. L.A. Murs & 9th Wonder
6. American Boy Estelle Feat. Kanye West
7. Ur So Gay Katy Perry
8. La Belle et le Bad Boy MC Solaar
9. Runnin' The Pharcyde
10. New York Cat Power
11. Three Wishes The Pierces
12. You Are Goodbye Holly Conlan
13. Arms of a Woman Amos Lee
14. Second Chance Liam Finn
15. That's Not My Name The Ting Tings
16. Pumpkin Soup Kate Nash
17. Sex Baby Sex Superbus
18. I Kissed a Girl Katy Perry
19. Kiss Kiss Holly Valance
20. I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance Black Kids
21. Stuttering Ben's Brother

New Words: English is so COMPLICATED!

2008-07-10T20:33:00Z

People think they are sooooo funny, and so they like to make up new words. Right on the heels of Merriam-Webster announcing their new included words of 2008, Cramer-Krasselt (some advertising agency, yeah, I've never heard of them either) has released a list of words we should all incorperate into our daily vocabulary. No WONDER it's so hard for foreigners to learn our language! We keep adding stuff! Anyway, these are the top 10 newly coined words and phrases compiled from a variety of sources...use them or lose them? I'm in GREEN in case you didn't know. But you did, you're smart.

1.Luxcession: v. - As the economy continues to hit consumers' wallets affecting their purchasing choices, many mass-class luxury items are also taking a hit.
Luxcession? Oh please. I feel so sorry for those of you who had to choose the Audi instead of the Beamer. Talk to those of us whose cars overheat at stop lights and don't have air-conditioner (namely, me)

2.Dotcomrade: n. - A friend or acquaintance that you met online but have never met in person.
This is a hilarious term. I'm not sure we needed a word for this, isn't there already "stalker"?

3.Greenwashing: n. - The practice of bogus environmental marketing.
TOTALLY. I'm fully supportive of us going green, but do we need a whole HD Network for it? How exactly does spending tons of money on a new network full of machines and non-green paper and computers equal loving mother earth?

4.Info Snacking: v. - Wasting time at work by surfing the Web.
Again, I thought we had a word for this. I think it's just "slacking".

5.Blacking Out: v. - To turn off any device that people can reach you with (cell phone, two-way, computer, home phone, morse code, etc.) in order to avoid someone.
Or drinking too much tequilla, calling your ex crying, throwing a beer glass across the bar, driving your friends car through a parking lot, and barfing out the window - then saying you don't remember anything the next day. Now who's avoiding who?

6.Compunicate: v. - To chat with someone when you are in the same room, each on separate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person.
Lolz. We actually do this at work all the time, but it's because we're talking about people in nearby cubicles and we don't want them to hear. Bad, bad CW Girls!

7.Defriend: v. - To remove somebody from your established list of contacts, considered the ultimate snub on social network.
I would love it if people in real life got in fights and yelled, "Oh you are SOOOO defriended. I am never putting you back in my Top 8, Biyatch! TOM can take your place!!!"

8.Generica: n. - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where you go such as strip malls and fast food places.
This is dumb. My head is starting to hurt. I need some generica Aleve.

9.Mouse Potato: n. - The online generation's answer to the couch potato.
This is a pretty true and accurate coined phrase. Except, what about those of us who sit on the couch with our laptops AND watch TV at the same time? I guess we're just vegetables.

10.Googleganger: n. - Another individual with the same name as you whose records and/or stories are mixed in with your own when you Google yourself.
I have a lot of these. With a generic name like Parker, you're bound to. Nobody is a total psycho, though, which means any boys who google me shouldn't be too scared, I hope. What? YOU TOTALLY DO IT.

Worst Lyrics of All Time

2008-07-09T18:40:00Z

The folks over at magpiemusic.com have released a list of the worst lyrics of all time. Seemingly absent were any lyrics from Heidi Montag's latest shriek fest, "Fashion" (I'm so fierce that it's so nuts, I live, to be model thin, Dress me, I'm your manne-quin ) but maybe they were unaware of one of the worse songs created this year. What else do you think is missing? My comments are in pink.

1. I'm serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer - Rhythm is a Dancer, Snap!
Which means...cancer is fun, right?!...because dancing is fun?

2. I don't want to see a ghost, it's a sight that I fear the most, I'd rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news - Life, Des'ree
And then I'll dance on a post...and eat some pot roast...Ryan Seacrest is a sucky host....Is it time for Lost? Wait, that doesn't rhyme.

3. Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer? - Shake Ya Tailfeather, Nelly, P Diddy and Murphy Lee
Is that a gun in your pocket? Can I borrow it?

4. He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? - Sk8er Boi, Avril Lavigne
Actually, you could. Did they do it?

5. I love you like a fat kid love cake - 21 Questions, 50 Cent
This shouldn't be on here, it's awesome.

6. Time is like a clock in my heart - Time (Clock Of The Heart), Culture club
I have no idea what that means...but you might have heartburn

7. You got a Prada bag with a lotta stuff in it - Gettin' Jiggy Wit It, Will Smith
Is it bad to own Prada now? Or bad to carry stuff around?

8. Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains - Whenever, Wherever, Shakira
No, we don't confuse them for breasts either.

9. She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck - Thong Song, Sisqo
Sounds like she needs to cut back on her fiber.

10. Only time will tell if we stand the test of time - Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen
Because we don't have grammar or sense to stand on, that's for sure

My two latest web obsessions

2008-07-08T18:17:00Z

I have two recent web habits I've picked up. One makes perfect sense and totally feeds into my OCDism. The other...my ADDism?

I am in LOVE with Google Reader. I've never really used RSS Feeds or anything like that before but I decided to try Google Reader so I could more easily access some of my favorite blogs from my phone. It's a Palm and I love it, but lets face it - Smartphones still can't handle the internet like iPhone can. So some blogs overwhelm it and take forever to load. I figured Google Reader would allow me to pick and choose which articles I could read and simplify them. Thankfully, it did that and better.

On my Palm, it just has links so you can view whatever articles you like. The graphics are limited to what's in the actual blog so loading times are quick. I love it. But I also keep the reader open in my browser all day too. I always keep Gmail open in my first tab, so I can access my inbox quickly. And now I keep Reader in my second tab, so I see when new articles pop up. Basically whenever they post something new, the reader tells me and I can go read it. AND I LOVE THAT. I have the tendency to obsessively check and recheck blogs when I run out of stuff to read so I love that it just tells me who has new articles and who doesn't. The only time I don't add a blog to my reader is when they only do a short version of the actual blog and you have to link to the blog. I like seeing all of the text and pictures right there.

My other web obsession as of late, for no apparent reason, is Twitter. I originally started on it after I heard other people on the web talking about the twitter revolution. And once I saw what it was I was like...what? It's basically just updating your status (in 140 characters or less) from the web, SMS, IM...there are a billion different ways to "tweet" what's going on with you. So I was less than enamored with the entire thing, because let's face it, how self obsessed is it to think everyone wants to know everything you're doing? Well, here's what's fun about it. You can "follow" people so you see what they're doing, and they follow you to see what you're doing, and then you can reply back and forth and have conversations about your tweets. So I have a few friends that I tweet back and forth at but I'm wanting more. I'm trying to figure out how to find more people to follow but it's still such a novel concept to people I think that they're not sure about it. I wasn't either but once you get started tweeting back and forth, it's actually kind of addiciting. It's almost like blogging but in short form, so you have to be creative and concise. I like. Oh and if you like...follow me!

Gossip Girl: Changing the way we watch TV?

2008-06-27T21:19:00Z

I read this really interesting article today from NY Mag about Gossip Girl. They happen to write my favorite blog recaps about the show, but this is a breakdown on why Gossip Girl is basically one of the most brilliant teen dramas of all time and how it's changing the way we all watch tv.

When it first aired, it got horrible ratings. By all means, it should've done great. With a following of all of us OC fans eager to see Josh Schwartz's next big project, to the millions of teeny boppers who've been reading the GG books (and all of its spin offs). But what happened was that Schwartz tapped into a new generation of TV watchers. Instead of watching the show in its 8 pm time slot, it was the #1 download on iTunes. Thousands viewed it for free on cwtv.com. Serena was hand picked by fans on internet forums before the show had come into fruition. And after the writers strike - the network had parents and prudes with their panties in a wad over the OMFG ads plastered all over cable and the internet. Countless blogs and websites popped up to follow the show, the actors, and everything Gossip related. GG proved that Gossip Girl viewers are too young - too hip - to be held back by traditional Nielsen standards.

Never mind that we aren't all young. I've got dozens of friends in their 20s that eagerly run to their DVRs for Gossip Girl. And what's even more interesting than that, as the article points out, we're all blogging about it, buzzing about the characters, emulating the fashion. We all check the blogs to see the latest leaked photos of the cast on set and can't wait for those webclips CW releases to preview next week's show. Dr Phil ran a special on "real life Gossip Girls" and websites like gossipreport.com got instant traffic as we tried to recreate our own Gossip fantasies. The Gossip Girl fans are plugged in, fashionable, and tech savvy. We've all got our camera phones ready to capture the next bit of gossip.

So Gossip Girl has revolutionized the traditional TV formula. We're watching more online, we're following the actors on the blogs, we're recreating their outfits on a more "beer pockets budget" and we're blogging about it, discussing it in forums, even talking about it at work. Not only has it turned the technological world they all live in into a reality for the rest of us, they've got us all hooked - and it's a guilty pleasure that I can't wait to see return to tv.

Read the full article here.

Bill Gates is dunzo

2008-06-27T20:10:00Z

Now the richest man in the world finally has some time to spend all of that glorious money. Something like....$58 billion, was it? I can't even imagine.

Microsoft made a cute little commemorative video of his "last day". And it's amazing the celebrities they pulled to participate! It made me chuckle a few times.

But the real question is...why is a man who is worth 50 to the billions of dollars driving a Ford?

Link to the video ----> here

Farmer GETS a Wife. Whether he wants one or not.

2008-06-26T16:41:00Z

Okay ya'll! Last night was the official Farmer Wants a Wife season finale! I'm not gonna lie, it snuck up on me and I was glad to have DVR because I was gonna be sad if I missed the wife pickin. Now I put this big picture here so ya'll don't get spoiled if you don't wanna, and the recap is below.

So last night, Matt is down to TWO GIRLS. That means it's time for a wife pickin' and he intends on doin' just that. These girls are absolutely just set on marryin' this guy and I guess I see the appeal. I mean, he's cute in a country sort of way, and I definitely support his use of no shirt throughout the show. I'm a fan of shirtless men, what can I say. It's weird, because Brooke being a Dallas girl could probably find just as good men if she headed east an hour or so, but she's got her heart set on Matt regardless. Then there's Christa. She's from New York City, for crying out loud. Are you trying to tell me she really wants to move to BFE and become a wife? The only thing I figure is that maybe men really ARE that slim pickins in the city and with the death of chivalry, a guy from the country could look mighty good. Or she's really desperate, or trying to get her green card.

Anyway, Matt starts the girls out by giving them "wifely duties" to do. He sends Christa off to pay his tab at the grocery store, take a deer to the taxidermist, pick up a carborator, get some horse feed...and Brooke to pick up live crickets, catfish...order some part or something...basically a bunch of busy work because let's face it, he's really getting himself a slave he can make out with. Christa gets side tracked at the country store and starts counting her chickens before they hatch by asking the clerk if they carry condoms. Brooke gets stuck behind a train and is the last to return home. Of course, there's Matt sitting there with some sandwiches and quite possibly the largest bowl of chips I've ever seen. If he's trying to put them into a sodium coma, mission accomplished. After lunch Matt tells the girls he'll be taking them out on dates - and Brooke only has 30 minutes to get ready.

So she puts on 30 minutes worth of outfits, I think she changed like 8 times, and he takes her four wheeling and picnicing. Charming. Precious. Britney Spears was totally jealous. She wants to tell him she loves him but chickens out, which is amazing because I thought that stupid girls ALWAYS tell guys they love them. Maybe they're suppsed to give it up first. I have no idea. Then Brooke gets dropped off and Matt picks up Christa in a horse and carriage. At this point I'm thinking, well, she's won. Obviously. Brooke gets the country bumpkin date, and Christa gets the Cinderella date? No contest!!

He takes Christa to his house and bow chicka bow wow...shows her his deer head collection. She is not impressed by his dead animals but does like his big...bed. Right. So they have dinner and the porch and at this point I'm thinking...man, if that were me, I'd be missing Taco Bell by now. Then they make out a lot and he takes her home because he's a gentleman and he's also probably worried about getting caught on her weird lip ring thing.

And then comes the final day. The day Farmer Matt picks his wife. The girls are doing wine bongs in the living room when they hear a marching band. This is never a good sign, because that's usually when I realize I've probably had too much wine. But lo and behold, it was a real band and there he was on the porch with the Mayor, ready to make his announcement. He gives some kind words about the girls and then tells them that a crop duster is going to fly over head with one of their names on it. They both look at him like he's an idiot. But that's how I've always dreamed of being proposed to, none of this fairy tale on one knee crap! I want me a plane, dagnabbit!

And after painful and constipated silence, a plane flies overhead that says "MATT HEART BROOKE". Christa craps her pants and Brooke passes out. And at that point I'd had far too much and I decided it was probably time to get a hobby.

So Matt picked Brooke. Weird. I guess that means there's hope for all of us to find love. Or mail order brides.

This is why I'm not a model

2008-06-26T16:35:00Z

Super, SUPER hot model Karolina Kurkova has come under some serious scrutiny recently over a runway show she did in Brazil. Sure, you have to be in perfect shape to be a model of any kind, especially bathing suit. And of course, because of photoshop and anorexia, we all hold a ridiculously high standard for most everyone in the industry, if not in every day life! But did she really deserve all of the crap everyone's been saying about her?

We sat around the news room for a good 10 minutes talking about this photo today. Yes, I think everyone is giving her too hard a time because she's OBVIOUSLY not fat. She's got some back rolls going on, so what. Anyone at the right angle can get that. But what actually does disturb me a little is her booty. Producer Steve says it looks like it has suffered from a stroke, and I actually quite agree. Maybe everyone is being too hard on her...but maybe it's time to hit the gym and do a couple of squats.

But - to be fair - that is one of the worst swimsuits ever designed. I don't know why I've been staring at this girl's butt for half an hour, but the more I do the more glad I am that I'M not a model and I don't have pictures of my behind all over the internet right now for people to criticize.

So what do you guys think? Bad bum? Or bad pic?

Softball makes my head hurt.

2008-06-16T16:09:00Z

    Well, despite what my trainer says, I'd like to point out that I'm not the slightest bit athletic. I love going to the gym and all that crap, but I'm not even sure if I can actually run outside. I don't even know why anyone would want to, there's no air-conditioner. Anyway, the point of this is - I don't know why I agreed to play in the "celebrity" softball game for The Buzz this weekend.

    I knew I was in trouble when I got an email that said, "Bring your gloves." YOUR gloves? I wasn't even aware that people owned gloves. And I figured, hey, we'll probably just play in a park somewhere or something. Heck no, it was at Dickey Stephens Park before a Travs game! Torture. Pure torture. I think I could've made it through kickball or dodgeball, maybe even soccer. But my softball skills are seriously lacking.

    So I showed up with the wrong handed glove, I'm left handed and I'd bought a glove for my...left hand. Of course it was a pink Disney Princess glove for a 3-5 year old, so it was also a little hard to catch things with. I was sitting in the dugout talking about how I hoped I would get injured so I didn't have to play. The only thing remotely cool about softball is the Girls Next Door socks, which of course I wore (in pink and purple).

    I'm standing on the field before the game even starts, and I hear, "Heads up!" And then a loud THUNK sound. Hmm, what was that, I think to myself. And then I realize my head feels like it's splitting in half. So I do the logical thing and fall over.

    Yes. I got hit in the head with a giant softball. And yes. It hurt.

    Interestingly enough, they benched me for the game and brought me about 17 million bags of ice for my head. Which I was grateful for until they started dripping on me. Our team won, though. I said it was probably because I wasn't on it.

    You know what's weird? I've been reading the Secret, and if I'd known I was going to get an instantaneous wish granting, I would've wished for a winning lottery ticket or a unicorn or something, not a softball to the side of my head. Yow.

Farmer wants a...Playboy? Wha...

2008-06-13T15:43:00Z

    I spent a good portion of my morning looking for the full episode of this week's "Farmer Wants a Wife" to talk about in the show today. Believe me, it was a doozy! Anyway, I didn't find any, but I DID find....THIS.

    NO WAY. Anybody remember Josie from Farmer Wants a Wife? Yeah, not only was she basically the most annoying thing since glue stuck to the roof of your mouth, she thought she was a 10. I remember on the show her talking about how she was a 10 and wanted to work her way up the playboy ladder. Looks like she'd started doing that before the show even aired. I linked the picture to her myspace.

    The thing is...she actually looks pretty good here. Everybody knows that the Playboy "Cyber Girls" are actually just the girls that nobody wants to see in the magazine, but she actually got it so good for her. I applaud her and encourage her to continue all ventures which don't require her to speak.

    For those of you who don't remember Josie, here's a little refresher.