I feel like maybe Gossip Girl last night was a little over-hyped. I was SO EXCITED about the whole Dan/Serena face off but that ended up being not even the biggest drama. But no doubt I was like, "WHAT!?!?" for half of the show.
Naturally the show opens with Dan and Serena both freaking out about the first day of school because they have to see each other. I remember those days. It really was traumatic to run into an ex in school after you'd broken up. Plus they'd JUST gotten back together so everyone was all into why they were so dunzo. Jenny was tormented by first day of school too - apparently, that's draft day, where Blair and her crew decide who's in and who's out, like little mini Heidi Klums. I don't really see why Jenny would be shunned, though. Didn't she spend ALL SUMMER working for Blair's mom? Doesn't that win you some sort of immunity? Whatever.
Anyway, Blair and the Blairettes are taking applications for their Victims and Projects. Basically if a girl makes it in, they train her to be queen bee of the school. You have to have excellent pedigree, lots of money, and some well placed connections that Waldorf and crew can use to their advantage. And everyone else just gets terrorized by Queen B and her hive.
Meanwhile, Nate and Vanessa are still hashing out their problems. Catherine shows up at the gallery to give V a little check to "thank her" for doing the right thing. I don't care what your morals are, I would've cashed that check and bought myself a pony or something. Anyway, V decides she doesn't want to keep it and takes it to the Duchess' house. WHERE she finds the Duch...making out with MARCUS. Yeah, her step son. Ewness. She takes a picture and then freaks out to Dan about how she doesn't know what to do with it. I figured that stuff was headed straight for Gossip Girl, but Dan suggests she take it to Blair and let her settle the score. Blair does just that - she blackmails Catherine and Marcus to pay off Nate's Dad's debt, leave town, and she'll never tell anyone. Of course, Vanessa is an impatient tart and decides to go straight to Catherine's husband. The Duke. Whatever. So they still get shipped off...but Nate doesn't get a dime. Great going, man face. She's so annoying, I can't wait for the episode where she shaves her head and starts making movies.
Dan meets a young hottie at school, and by young hottie I mean awkward actress with unfortunate bangs. Serena is instantly jealous and somehow they all end up at a bar together. Serena proceeds to get sloshed on martinis, hit on some dude from Dalton, and tell Dan he should probably go. Of course Dan is all whiney and judgemental and blames S for making Amanda (that's the girl btw, she's not really that important) feel uncomfortable. The situtation is only made worse when Chuck pulls a magical bottle of Nair (who brings Nair to a bar?!) out of his pocket and has Blair's little helpers make a "Nairtini" to dump on Amanda, who immediately starts pulling chunks out of her hair. What's he up to? Well, we find out later Amanda was a total plant - Paid by Chuck Bass - to help Serena go off the deep end and into power. Which is exactly what happens - she immediately tells the girls that everything goes through HER from now on - and the next day makes it very clear to Blair that she has been dethroned as Queen Bee. I LOVE this version of Serena. This is exactly what I've been asking for! S in the books was so dominant and got everything she wanted - it looks like things are turning towards that for sure. Dan is immediately shunned at school and with B all vulnerable and sad and living in S's shadow...will she go back to Chuck, just as he planned? We'll find out, I guess.
SO MUCH happened in last nights episode it's almost hard to recount everything. Some crap happened between Lily and Rufus but it was kind of boring, she's finally back from Beijing but Bart is still there on business which means there's plenty of time for her to have an awesome affair. Jenny ends up retreating back to her internship just to escape school and I think that just about covers everyone.
Next week Serena becomes ultimate QB and I can't WAIT!
