Last night's Top Model was a little crazy for me. Either Tyra has lost her mind, or her producers get her really sloshed before she has to shoot anything. I also have to say I'm not crazy about her TyTyBot haircut. It's in her face and soooo not as fabulous as her major bang weave. Bring it back!!
Anyway, Tyra shows up at the girls' house with a pizza to talk about how her mom encouraged her to eat pizza instead of going to the gym. If I could eat pizza and end up the first black woman on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, I would, but I am none of those things so I'll continue just eating pizza and wishing I wasn't too lazy to go to the gym. Then she reveals the girls are going to get their make-overs! Hurrah! But this is where I think maybe somebody slipped me a chocolate covered mushroom because all of the sudden the Js show up dressed like Prince Charming and the Wicked Witch and carry Tyra away. Okay, what? The girls find out when they get to the make-over salon that the mirrors are COVERED and they won't know what they look like until its done! Scarcy!!! Thankfully for us, Tyra's "Magic Mirror" keeps popping up where she chants enchanted mirror type things in relation to the make overs. Again, I'm looking around trying to figure out who drugged me. She crazy.
As for the make-overs, some were really good, some were horrid, and some I couldn't even tell the difference. They roughed up classic mall girl and tomboy Sam by giving her a super short edgy cut and lightening her blondes. She looked AMAZING, and kind of like she should be making out with Elina. They darkened Majorie's hair and she looks even better, definitely prettier. She has such an amazing European look anyway, so the darker hair gave her the "ooh-la-la" of Paris I'd been waiting for. Tyra gave Sheena highlights, and I do not like Asian women with highlights, because they don't need them. They're already amazingly beautiful. So I thought it made her look kind of cheap. They lengthened Isis' weave, which is good, maybe she'll quit wearing that horrible horse tail braid she's been lugging around. I wish someone would take those dinner plate hoops away from her too. Brittany turns out totally hot except, she already was. They totally gave her Playboy hair, which I've always wanted.
The worst, by far, however, was Elina. She had such a sexy Jolie vibe going on, but Tyra wants everyone to know that you can't have a future if people compare you to someone else ("Always remember that I'm skinnier than Oprah!!!") so she decides to give the poor girl a weave. Not just any weave, though. It's a firey red curly afro weave. She looks like Carrot Top. Of course she cried, not only would that freaking hurt but she was sexy before and now she looks like Bozo the Clown. After they calmed it down with some curling irons it wasn't
terrible...but I have no idea how she's gonna fix it herself. And there's just so MUCH of it. I don't know. Tyra, I think that was really mean of you.
The girls have their challenge at Wal-Mart - they have to shoot a 30 second commercial to explain how to use the color matching chart for Cover Girl Tru-Match Foundation. Which, aren't you supposed to match your foundation to your face, and not your hand? Whatever. Hannah ends up winning the challenge, which she gets a $1000 Wal-Mart gift card for AND her commercial will be on the Cover Girl website. She got really excited about this - "I'm gonna be online! I can Google myself!!" Honey...you're on TV. Believe me, that's a bigger deal.
Then the girls have to endure a swimsuit shoot. I actually liked this because it's very bare bones back to basics kind of modeling. Hannah does her best Psycho eyes and kind of freaked me out. Brittany definitely looked like an SI girl, for sure. She has a future with Maxim, but maybe not anything else. Sam's haircut was definitely an advantage for her, she looked amazing. So did Majorie - her bikini was adorable, and she seems to be a lot more comfortable posing now. Her face is beautiful. It's stunning, really. And Lauren Brie was absolutely unbelievable. Isis was kind of funny to watch, because she's packing sausage in that bikini and was really kind of uncomfortable with that. Yeah...that would be awkward. That's going to continue to be awkward until TyRAH-RAH has you on her show and buys you a gender reversal surgery.
The pictures turned out either good or bad - most of the girls I mentioned above looked fantastic. I thought Brittany just looked average at best and oh goodness, Joslyn freaking cracks me up. They should let her talk more. And then let Ms Jay imitate her because I love that. I thought Lauren Brie's picture was the best, actually. When I saw it I gasped a little just because it was so gorgeous. Sheena's pictures were awesome too. I've noticed the girls this season definitely have better control of their faces. Finally, someone is smiling with their eyes! Except Hannah. She's killing puppies. Elina ends up winning - her picture is good because her hair is 3/4ths OUT of the picture. Tyra says she likes her tattoos in the picture and says, "I'm not gonna retouch that." Yeah, because Tyra does so much photoshop herself. I'm sure. And in the end, Brittany ends up going home. I'm not really sure why, but somebody has to go every week and this time it was her. But she's a pretty girl and I'm sure she has a bright future at her local Applebee's.
Update: I found some pictures. They're sporadic but they're something!!
Here's a few links to the make overs on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTRMSls4a54 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_Hu_Viyi4k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrP9LoL8k4I
