Tyra Banks, you have outdone yourself. Just when I thought you could never, ever make Top Model more than a reality show about tall girls and "fierceness", you've got me hooked for the rest of the dang season. Brava.
Last night was two hours of Top Model goodness season premiere, which started off with Tyra telling me that we were going into the NEXT DECADE of America's Next Top Model. Decade? Really? While I don't doubt this at all, it still surprised me that yes, it is the ELEVENTH season of ANTM. There's a 12th planned and girls are still flocking by the 100s and 1000s to get their shot at being paid for being as tall as a dude. The episode's theme was "Models of the Future" and I was loving the whole mad scientist/star trek thing that was going on. Tyra Bot loves to make an entrance and this year was no different, she had the girls dress up in spandex body suits and appeared out of a model making machine looking like a manequin. And then, we were on to find out who the top 14 girls would be.
Tyra made the girls dress up in a different spandex outfit and pose
with exercise balls to see which 14 would make it out of the 20 she'd
chosen after interviews. The photos were terrible but some of the girls
managed to pull it off. And I definitely have my favorite girls.
I'll tell you right off the bat, Sheena is my GIRL. I love her. They said she was a lot like Kimora Lee Simmons. She's half Korean, half Japanese, and half Harlem Hood. I love her accent, I love her style, and I love her attitude. She's hilarious. Girlfriend stretched out over three exercise balls to get her first shot and in the second photo, Jay had to yell "Hooch!" every time she looked too trampy. Which she definitely did when she tried to stick the gas pump up her booty. Hilarious.
Another one of my faves is Elina. She's a vegan girl lover (blog starred out ***!) who has a crush on Top Model Barbie and has a very cool Jolie kind of look to her. I thought she took gorgeous pictures and I love that the main reason she's in the competition is to hook up with a hot girl.
I really like Analeigh. I think she's got a really pretty hippy vibe and I agree with the judges - her hair is amazing. However, her picture wasn't all that so hopefully it gets better. I also love Majorie. I love how awkward and shy she is - and I love that she's French. She does have a very European look and if she can get over her confidence issues. I can't wait to see her makeover.
But the icing on the fantastic top model cake this year is Isis. That's the one that's actually a man. She was discovered last year after being a back up model for the homless photoshoot - Tyra just had to have her and that's when the producers told her that actually, that was a man. Um, hello, did someone just say ratings GOLD? The best news is, she's pre-op so all of those awkward outfits Tyra had them gyrating around in had to be very revealing for her. She even did a catwalk in a bikini! The other girls obviously had the same concerns I did about "the goods" and she dispelled our questions by saying simply "tape". AH that has to be uncomfortable. I hope the other girls aren't mean to her because I love that hot mess. She takes fabulous pictures and girlfriend looks more like a girl than some of the dudes that have been models on that show before. Although, seriously, ditch the earrings for me, girl.
The girls did a photoshoot to promote voting - Tyra thinks voting is sexy and she wanted the girls to portray that. I don't exactly know how you portray "
Bureaucracy" or "
Health Care" so it annoyed me that they were like, "This doesn't say economy to me." Um, yeah, because there's a hot girl in it with a sequin dress on it. There's nothing economic about that. In the end, we said goodbye to Shauran, which I can't say I'm upset about. That girl annoyed me from the first and she did nothing but brag about herself and pick on the other girls so good riddance.
There were some other funny things that happened, like McKey punching a pillow (wtf?) and Nikeysha flashing the judges panel (Joe Francis, get on that!) and I loved the Harvard girl who couldn't name any fictional female heroines. She didn't make it, and neither did the brunette Whitney look alike who apparently wasn't BIG enough to be a plus size model. I thought she looked awesome...and ridiculous when they made her pad herself. No way anyone would ever gain weight to be a model. She'd be perfect for like, New York & Company - I see them as the kind of company that would order normal sized women for models instead of a praying mantis.
I predict next week Clark goes home. That name is awesome and she is beautiful but maybe she's more the Maxim type of model. Just a thought. Anyway, you go Tyra. You've already got me hooked.
