September 3rd! So close!!! Now forgive me while I speculate over the girls. I've studied them carefully and I think that I can assess each of them. Which obviously means, everything will be completely opposite of what I think.
Name: Analeigh
Age: 19
Hometown: Sacramento, CA (currently Los Angeles, California)
Occupation: Student
My prediction: She looks an awful lot like like Michelle Trachtenburg. She has great hair and legs though...I figure she'll probably end up in the top 5 at least. She's got that fierce dark look.
Name: Brittany
Age: 19
Hometown: Henderson, Nevada
Occupation: Customer Service
My Prediction: That's a terrible jumper or onesie or whatever. I'm pro-onesie, too, so that's saying something. And her face looks very...expressionless. But she does have kind of that exotic look that Anchal from season 7 had. And some crazy facial structure so if she can beef up the expression I bet she'll take great pictures.
Name: Clark
Age: 19
Hometown: Pawleys Island, South Carolina (currently Columbia, South Carolina)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: What kind of name is Clark? I'll tell you - it's the name of some tall leggy southern blonde. That's soooo predicitable for a model. I don't know, she's got some crazy thunder thighs and could really use a boob job. That being said, I'm obviously kidding (since a lot of people can't tell sometimes) and I think she's gorgeous. Those cheek bones should be illegal. She needs some highlights, though. Fix her up, Jay.
Name: Elina
Age: 19
Hometown: Berdichieve, Ukraine (currently Seattle, Washington)
Occupation: Currently unemployed
My Prediction: Currently unemployed! At least she knows what it's like, because I'm guessing that's pretty much what being a model is like. Unless you're foreign like this chick and then you've got it MADE. Remember Anya last year? They love foreign exotic beauties! I don't know if she's got an accent but the more understandability goes down, the more model potential goes up. This girl is ridiculously gorgeous. And that tattoo is hot. I refuse to look in a mirror for the rest of the day as I'll be disappointed that that's not staring back at me.
Name: Hannah
Age: 19
Hometown: Fairbanks, Alaska
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: She looks a lot like Heather from season 9, except I bet she doesn't have Aspergers so she automatically has to be 17 times more charismatic if she wants to win. Good luck with that.
Name: Isis
Age: 22
Hometown: Prince George's County, Maryland (currently New York, New York)
Occupation: Program Assistant at a non-profit organization.
My Prediction: This is the transgender I was telling you about earlier. I'm hoping that means ambigious genetalia, because I'm getting a little tranny from the face (I think it's the eyebrows) but there ain't NO WAY those legs belong to a man! That isn't fair, Maury! That's a woman!
Name: Joslyn
Age: 23
Hometown: Lucky, Louisiana (currently Shreveport, Louisiana)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: Lucky, LA? I LOVE IT! She has to win with a hometown like that! She's really pretty too, her skin has a ridiculous sheen across it that makes me feel like I need to moisturize. I think perhaps she has a future as a Victoria's Secret Angel.
Name: Lauren Brie
Age: 20
Hometown: Charlottesville, Virginia (currently Radford, Virginia)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: Lauren is the only girl that has a last name (or at least, knows how to spell it) so she's probably going to be the smart girl. Unless that's her middle name in which case...somebody's mommy was eating too much stinky cheese while she was in labor. No wait, I just looked at her picture. She looks like Scarlett Johannson so she automatically goes down 3 points because I don't like Scarlett Johannson. She looks kind of short....can I get a ruler over here?
Name: Marjorie
Age: 19
Hometown: Marseilles, France (currently San Francisco, California)
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: While I can't stand that name, she's from France so I forgive her parents. And secondly...I LOVE HER LOOK. I can tell just by seeing this girl I'm going to enjoy seeing her on the show. I love a girl that can sport the short punky hair look and her outfit is quelle francais.
Name: McKey
Age: 19
Hometown: Lake Forest, Illinois
Occupation: Student
My Prediction: McKey looks kind of cool and rough too, although her name suggests a future as a tween clothing designer for JC Penney. She needs to lay off that weird green eyeshadow though, her eyes look bruised or diseased.
Name: Nikeysha
Age: 19
Hometown: Bronx, New York
Occupation: Student
My Predictions: Um...are we sure this isn't the tranny? I'm kidding, that girl is from the Bronx. She could beat my butt so I'll just say, yeah, top three.
Name: Samantha
Age: 18
Hometown: Woodland Hills, California
Occupation: Student Athlete
My Predictions: Oh Samantha. I hope you prove me wrong, but....enjoy your future as a Playboy Cyber Girl.
Name: ShaRaun
Age: 18
Hometown: Chicago, Illinois
Occupation: Student
My Predictions: ShaRaun, girl, love the hair. I would absolutely sport a fro if I weren't so terribly white. You do have some fierce posing abilities. You definitely make my top five. Tyra is gonna love you.
Name: Sheena
Age: 21
Hometown: Honolulu, Hawaii (currently Harlem, New York)
Occupation: Hostess/Go-Go Dancer
My Predictions: I'm sorry, shouldn't you be overbearing and controlling someone's surgeries on Grey's Anatomy right now? That being said...I love that your career is Hostess/Go-Go Dancer. It proves that you're very versatile. And from Honolulu to Harlem? Yeah, that's not a culture shock at all.
And finally...this girl....wait, that's not a girl, that's freaking Tyra. With the fugliest faux-hawk-mullet I've ever seen.
